I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I'd give you the finger but it's in my nose.
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
I did not hit you ..... I simply high fived your face!
Help your local Search and Rescue ..... GET LOST!
Just say 'NO' to negativity!
Dont hate me, hate yourself!
Love me, Hate me ... Either way you're thinking of me!
Hey when I want your opinion I'll remove the duct tape!
I use to have a handle on life, but it broke!
You're a great friend but if the zombies chase us Im tripping you!
What if the hokey pokey is really what it is all about!
Don't insult the alligator until after you cross the river.
I used to care but now I take a pill for that.
Its not easy being me but it sure is funny watching you try.
If at first you do succeed - try not to look astonished.
Improve your image - be seen with me!
Grope discounts available!
Don’t worry, my gun’s still warm from the last guy.
I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.
Aww Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done!
Heavily medicated for your protection.
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
Come on, give me the finger like you MEAN IT!
I'm trying to see things your way, but I cant get my head up my butt.
Disappointed?? Too bad!
To make your prayers come true, you have to get on your knees.
Rehab is for quitters!
Jesus is coming, hurry look busy!
Take your ex out tonight. (one bullet otta do it)
Cant feed them? Don’t bread them!
Keep talking, I'm reloading!
Gun control means using both hands!
Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you!
I'm not trying to be sarcastic. Its called disrespectful.
Would you like a dictionary?
Sarcasm…. Its just one more FREE service we offer!
Don't take life to seriously, nobody gets out alive anyways!
A friend is someone who will tell you your fly is down. A best friend is someone who will reach down and do it up themselves !
I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you (but its still on the list)
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
I can only please one person a day. Today isn't your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
People like you are the reason we have middle fingers!
It takes one to know one...I don't know you, you must be one!
I would trade my brother for a cupcake !
I have a life.. I simply chose to spend it online.